How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
