Say something about gay babies.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize