this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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