I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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