So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
