Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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