She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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