i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
