its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Randomize
