I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Randomize
