He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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