Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize