I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize