you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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