it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
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