Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Randomize