Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
