Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
