you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
