they need to just BURY HIM!
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
