my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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