i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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