Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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