Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
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I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
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I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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