After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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