Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
