Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
