i don't like sucking hair
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
