I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
