just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
