the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
