Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
