So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
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We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
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official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
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