Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize