Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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