Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
