This girl is more easily done than said...
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
