I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Drunk is a universal language darling
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
