The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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