it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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