I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Randomize
