They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
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