You don't have asthma, your pregnant
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize