Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
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