if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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