there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I wear drunk well.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
