He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
The uberlube is also flammable
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Randomize
