What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
