Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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