i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Don't EVER smell your tampon
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.