He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
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Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
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Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?