Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
