No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
