My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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