now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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