This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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