based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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