Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
