It's like a parade of train wrecks.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Randomize
