Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Randomize
