um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
