he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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