What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
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