Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
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I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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