Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
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