We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
