Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
